Basic Dialectics

“Rabbi,” the man said, “Explain the Talmud to me.”

“Very well,” he said. “First, I will ask you a question. If two men climb up a chimney and one comes out dirty, and one comes out clean, which one washes himself?”

“The dirty one,” answers the man.

“No. They look at each other and the dirty man thinks he is clean and the clean man thinks he is dirty, therefore, the clean man washes himself.”

“Now, another question:
If two men climb up a chimney and one comes out dirty, and one comes out clean, which one washes himself?”

The man smiles and says, “You just told me, Rabbi. The man who is clean washes himself because he thinks he is dirty.”

“No,” says the Rabbi. “If they each look at themselves, the clean man knows he doesn’t have to wash himself, so the dirty man washes himself.”

“Now, one more question.
If two men climb up a chimney and one comes out dirty, and one comes out clean, which one washes himself?”

“I don’t know, Rabbi. Depending on your point of view, it could be either one.”

Again the Rabbi says, “No. If two men climb up a chimney, how could one man remain clean? They both are dirty, and they both wash themselves.”

The confused man said, “Rabbi, you asked me the same question three times and you gave me three different answers. Is this some kind of a joke?”

“This is not a joke, my son. This is Talmud.”

5 Responses to “Basic Dialectics”

  1. ghost says:

    excellent.

    you wrote that? if not, where’s it from?

    I always meant to read up on jewish theology but as with most religious lore you can’t just read ANYTHING its bound to be falsifying

  2. classless says:

    No, you’ll find it on practically every site featuring Talmud humor. I would actually like to know the original source.

  3. ghost says:

    God it really makes your mouth water for more, doesn’t it?

  4. classless says:

    Damn right. But it’s all over the place, isn’t it? You only have to read Sohn-Rethel and Mommsen at the same time.

  5. ghost says:

    go to hell

    bought and started to read both sohn-rethel as well as maimonides.

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